Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
