Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
