this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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