college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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