you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
