Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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