She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
