So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You're like the curious george of whores
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize