Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Randomize
Follow @tfln