Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You pole danced in your parka.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize