imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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