Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
