I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Do vagina's smell?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
