I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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