Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
