eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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