hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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