Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
