Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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