well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
