Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
