i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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