Me too!
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
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