My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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