it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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