Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
