we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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