just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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