The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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