Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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