He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
