My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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