idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
