so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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