This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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