By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
