I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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