I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
