Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
