im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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