I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
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Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
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the night was just a blur of sex and pie
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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