'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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