quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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