Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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