That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
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