i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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