Dual....:-)
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
