hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize