i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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