I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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