bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
