You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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