Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
