Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
