called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
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