you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
