I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
