Can Purell be used as lube?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
No subtext here. People are naked.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
