i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize