Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
