there was a trapeze. enough said
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
