I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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