Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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