There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I need to stop coming to work sober
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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