i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
