I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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