so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
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i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
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I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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